I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize