Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize