I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.