So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.