??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Semen is not good for contacts.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
