Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
