Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
