Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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