her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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