part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a dumb baby whore.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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