Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
