I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
