Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
