It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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