I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
