She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Randomize