I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
