U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
