I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize