i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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