if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
