I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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