thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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