Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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