I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
