did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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