4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
