I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
