so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
