The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
