You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
