I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize