how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
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