he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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