I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize