i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize