Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
