I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
