Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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