Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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