I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he was CRYING into my vagina
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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