Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
