Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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