WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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