I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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