And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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