In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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