But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
