It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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