.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
