I bet he comes in French.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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