I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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