Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"