Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Dude, just got a bummer.

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

What??

(502): View more from Kentucky

A blow job from a homeless chick.

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(502): Dude, just got a bummer. (1-502): What?? (502): A blow job from a homeless chick. http://tfl.nu/uf37

Replies (27) Good night (783) Bad night (1765)
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(530): View more from California

1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.

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(530): 1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details. http://tfl.nu/vtyc

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(314): View more from Missouri

96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks

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(314): 96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks http://tfl.nu/s1i2

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(757): View more from Virginia

It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

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(757): It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends. http://tfl.nu/y207

Replies (21) Good night (844) Bad night (5816) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.

(917): View more from New York City

Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.

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(917): I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads. (917): Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful. http://tfl.nu/kyyh

Replies (23) Good night (7245) Bad night (568)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed

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(908): once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed http://tfl.nu/z8ll

Replies (6) Good night (828) Bad night (3815) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin

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(630): Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin http://tfl.nu/3pnd

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook

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(847): Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook http://tfl.nu/zrse

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.

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(780): I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now. http://tfl.nu/ehba

Replies (10) Good night (1261) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.

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(512): I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun. http://tfl.nu/d4m3

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(512): View more from Texas

Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.

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(512): Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick. http://tfl.nu/ysyl

Replies (11) Good night (459) Bad night (3197)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"

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(847): Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!" http://tfl.nu/mldx

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(618): View more from Illinois

I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60

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(618): I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60 http://tfl.nu/6i7r

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(720): View more from Colorado

I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.

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(720): I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer. http://tfl.nu/jm0p

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(404): View more from Georgia

Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka

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(404): Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka http://tfl.nu/m383

Replies (5) Good night (833) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt

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