we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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