I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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