I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she looked like the before picture.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize